(Episode 4 being full of so much snake innuendo I'd rather not extrapolate for fear of just... just... let's leave it at that.) Ryoma: I am teh shit. Ryoma's fanboys: He's teh SHIT! Ryoma: Look at my amazing flying shoelaces. I love them. And as such, I spend five minutes of each episode fondling them.

Tezuka's harem: Mmm, Ryoma's teh Shit. Nice Arse.
Tezuka: I have PMT. I hate everybody. GO AWAY! (yes, rather nice in those white shorts, isn't it, sort of girly?)

Kaido: I'm a nutter.

Inui: I'm an anal arsehole. And yes, my glasses are square because my eyes are too.
Fuji: I'm Tezuka's bitch. Ooh, nice game, Ryoma. (SJS: How can you see what's going on when your eyes are closed??!)

Now I know why Tezuka's harem are just so goddamn rude. If I had that many castrated girls following me around squealing at me, I'd be homicidal too. Oh, and sorry, so far all I see is het pairings. Ryoma & Sakuno is kind of sweet, if only we could shoot her friend. And I like Ryoma's dad. Poor guy. He looks at a magazine of girls with their clothes on and gets lauded. Can't he have a little love?

Tezuka: 'baa chan, what are you doing tonight?
Grandma: Nothing. Ever since Mr Grandma died, I've been on my own...
Tezuka: What about some company to dull the loneliness?
Grandma: I don't want to impose...
Tezuka: No, I'm the one who's imposing (dahaha~!)
Grandma: It is an awfully small apartment...
Tezuka: How about we do a restaurant first?
Grandma: Screw the restaurant, Tezuka, TAKE ME!

Oh, whoops, sorry, that was a fanfic I was just writing. Oh, and how much is the locker room a love shack?

Ryoma: Look everybody! This is my new step!
Fanboys: OH my GOD he's jumping up and down!! He's teh SHIT!
Reporter woman: I shall take PHOTOS of him! Too bad I didn't put the lens through the fence, so the SHOT will be crisscrossed with WIRE!
Inui: Oh. I'm losing. Maybe if I try fondling my shoelaces like Ryoma...

Grandma: Now we shall have a team announcement!
All: Yosh!
Grandma: You exist!
All: Yosh!
Grandma: That is all.
All: Yosh?
Tezuka: WHADDAREYALLDOINGJUSTSTANDINGTHERE!GET.TO.WORK! WORK! NOW! BASTARDS! Where's my bitch? I want chocolate. *breaks down*

Inui: If I poison the whole team, then I'll be able to wear my FANCY SWEATER again!

From here on I have been rendered temporarily speechless after witnessing Momo-chan & Ryoma's dad lifting up their shirts. No more abs..er, diary today.

Random1: Ah, here we are at the regional tournament. Random2: Spiffing, isn't it. Oh look! Oh no! Random1: It's the... It must be... Random2: A really bad close up of... Random1: Seigaku's.... crotches.... Ryoma can levitate, apparently.

(behind the scenes- eiji hadn't put his makeup on so they had to film the next best body part)

(How come Fuji manages to get away with 1.) hiding from view his tennis skills 2.) Hiding from view his eyes (I think I saw them for like, 2 seconds there) and 3.)

Hiding from view his crotch? I think I've discovered the 3 most important things to his character...)

SEXY LIPS Kaidoh's amazing sexy lips and Eiji's amazing moving bandaid (because he's got a pimple).	INUI'S ARSE The problem being Inui imposing his arse on the poor middle schoolers, and Fuji's amazing misshapen head.

ENGURISH SCHOOL our supaa amazingu grammaaar (combined with VIZ insults).

tacky music: *busts a gut proving Ryoma & Momo-chan are just so WONDERFUL because they've developed a new way of play which effectively involves them IGNORING eachother.

Momo-chan: DUNK SMASH! *goes into orbit*

Random: Oh my GOD! It's the captain of another school! I didn't know they existed! He is...Kuki...
Random2: He certainly is.... (DAHAHAHAHAHAH! RESPECT my witty pun...)

The most demented school in the world (inbreeding! See what it does?!)	...punishment being having to sit in front of Fuji. (sidenote; Fuji gets his crotch shielded AGAIN! It's not like I particularly want to see it, but I think he's hiding something...)

HEY YOU! Yes you! Is your mind in the gutter? Take this simple test to find out!

(because they'd been complaining about lack of 'together' time...)	Hmm....